performance: reference counters can use relaxed order when incrementing

[gdamore]

fixes #

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[codecov]

Codecov Report

All modified and coverable lines are covered by tests ✅

Project coverage is 81.96%. Comparing base (3dfa962) to head (f8a314e).
Report is 1 commits behind head on main.

Additional details and impacted files

@@            Coverage Diff             @@
##             main    #1973      +/-   ##
==========================================
+ Coverage   81.89%   81.96%   +0.06%     
==========================================
  Files          95       95              
  Lines       24074    24074              
  Branches     3209     3209              
==========================================
+ Hits        19716    19732      +16     
+ Misses       4287     4269      -18     
- Partials       71       73       +2     

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