Some more comments on the draft

[MichaelChirico]

Not sure the right way to make suggestions without strictly committing to an edit for a PR. So filing this issue with comments on permalinked source. Happy to file a PR with accepted suggestions/adjustments, starting here for discussion.

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rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 11 in dc99660

infrastructure supporting contribution. Several small tasks were completed

Maybe drop "small"? I worry it might diminish the work that got completed, some of which was low-hanging fruit but some of which I would shy from calling "small", though it is definitely "relatively small" compared to those tasks where significant headway was made without reaching the finish line. How about

Several tasks were completed during the sprint itself. Some larger projects saw significant progress as well.

https://github.com/r-devel/rcwg/blob/main/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd#L13-L15

A bit repetitive "development"/"develop", "contributors"/"contribution". Maybe

The event provided a unique opportunity for external programmers to learn about the R development process and to further their contribution skills.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 57 in dc99660

on Day 2 and Day 3 of the sprint, a full [list of participants](https://contributor.r-project.org/r-project-sprint-2023/participants/) is on the sprint website. Participation was in-person by default,

Here and a sporadically below, the line is very wide, so it's harder to read in plaintext. It doesn't matter for the rendered version.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 60 in dc99660

travel disruptions; in the end seven people participated online.

Nit: elsewhere, numbers are digits, here it's spelled out. For consistency 'seven' -> '7'.

https://github.com/r-devel/rcwg/blob/main/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd#L133-L135

Nit: the two 'and' are a bit hard to parse, maybe

including the R Blog post on reviewing bugs, the useR! 2021 tutorial on analysing bugs/contributing patches, and the useR 2021! tutorial on translating messages in R.

Or

including the useR! 2021 tutorials on analysing bugs/contributing patches and translating messages and the R Blog post on reviewing bugs.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 144 in dc99660

the [R Dev Guide](https://contributor.r-project.org/rdevguide/) and the

Does Coventry use the Oxford comma? :)

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Lines 144 to 147 in dc99660

	the [R Dev Guide](https://contributor.r-project.org/rdevguide/) and the
	prototype [GitHub Codespace](https://github.com/r-devel/r-dev-env/) which
	provides a virtual environment in which to build R - this was demonstrated in
	one of the contributor office hours.

Grammar feels a bit off in the late part of the sentence, what about

People new to this were pointed to the R-admin manual, the R Dev Guide, and a prototype GitHub Codespace for building R which was demonstrated in one of the contributor office hours[^footnote].
[^footnote] GitHub Codespaces provide hosted Docker images so that anybody can use the same environment from anywhere, see https://github.com/features/codespaces.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 158 in dc99660

On the second evening, in-person participants enjoyed a conference dinner, whilst on the final evening the sprint participants joined the Warwick R User Group for a hybrid meetup to present progress made thus far at the sprint, this was followed by a buffet dinner for in-person participants.

I would change 'this was followed' -> 'followed'. Possibly a UK/US thing.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 168 in dc99660

including translation memory, hyperlinking to the source string location and

Add a phrase on "what is translation memory?"

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 169 in dc99660

dedicated reviewers to approve translations. New components were added, so that

Probably not clear what a component is? Maybe drop the phrase entirely?

The instance was extended so that it not only covers base R (messages, warnings, errors and the Windows GUI), but also the Mac GUI and recommended packages.

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 171 in dc99660

Windows GUI), but also the Mac GUI and recommended packages.

May not be clear to the audience "recommended" is a specific phrase here. Maybe "Recommended-priority packages" is better, or "Recommended-priority packages like Matrix" for even more context?

rcwg/r_project_sprint/report/r-project-sprint-2023-report.Rmd

Line 209 in dc99660

#| "end of spint and two months after.",

Typo: 'sprint'