tavern_man.txt

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What do you
call a blind
dinosaur?
a doyouthink-
hesaurus.
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A blind man
walks into
a bar.
And a table.
And a chair.
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What do ducks
like to eat?

Quackers!
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How do you
set up a party
in space?

You planet!
-
I'm glad I
know sign
language.
It's pretty
handy.
-
What did Zelda
say to Link at
a secure door?

TRIFORCE!
-
I am on a
seafood diet.

Every time
I see food,
I eat it.
-
I've decided
to sell my
vacuum.
It was just
gathering
dust.
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What's the best
time to go to
the dentist?

Tooth-hurtie!
-
Why can't a
bike stand on
its own?

It's two-tired!
-
If you haven't
found Quake
yet…
it's not your
fault.
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Why is Peter
Pan always
flying?
Because he
Neverlands!
-
I once told a
joke to Armos.

But he
remained
stone-faced!
-
Lanmola was
late to our
dinner party.
He just came
for the desert
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Moldorm is
such a
prankster.
And I fall for
it every time!
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Helmasaur is
throwing a
party.
I hope it's
a masquerade!
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I'd like to
know Arrghus
better.
But he won't
come out of
his shell!
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Mothula didn't
have much fun
at the party.
He's immune to
spiked punch!
-
Don't set me
up with that
chick from
Steve's Town.


I'm not
interested in
a Blind date!
-
Kholdstare is
afraid to go
to the circus.
Hungry kids
thought he was
cotton candy!
-
I asked who
Vitreous' best
friends are.
He said,
'Me, Myself,
and Eye!'
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Trinexx can be
a hothead or
he can be an
ice guy. In
the end, he's
a solid
individual!
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Bari thought I
had moved out
of town.
He was shocked
to see me!
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I can only get
Weetabix
around here.
I have to go
to Steve's
Town for Count
Chocula!
-
Don't argue
with a frozen
Deadrock.
He'll never
change his
position!
-
I offered a
drink to a
self-loathing
Ghini.
He said he
didn't like
spirits!
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I was supposed
to meet Gibdo
for lunch.
But he got
wrapped up in
something!
-
Goriya sure
has changed
in this game.
I hope he
comes back
around!
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Hinox actually
wants to be a
lawyer.
Too bad he
bombed the
Bar exam!
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I'm surprised
Moblin's tusks
are so gross.
He always has
his Trident
with him!
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Don't tell
Stalfos I'm
here.
He has a bone
to pick with
me!
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I got
Wallmaster to
help me move
furniture.
He was really
handy!
-
Wizzrobe was
just here.
He always
vanishes right
before we get
the check!
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I shouldn't
have picked up
Zora's tab.
That guy
drinks like
a fish!
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I was sharing
a drink with
Poe.
For no reason,
he left in a
heartbeat!
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Don't trust
horsemen on
Death Mountain.
They're Lynel
the time!
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Today's
special is
battered bat.
Got slapped
for offering a
lady a Keese!
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Don't walk
under
propellered
pineapples.
You may end up
wearing
a pee hat!
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My girlfriend
burrowed under
the sand.
So I decided
to Leever!
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Geldman wants
to be a
Broadway star.
He's always
practicing
Jazz Hands!
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Octoballoon
must be mad
at me.
He blows up
at the sight
of me!
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Toppo is a
total pothead.

He hates it
when you take
away his grass
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I lost my
shield by
that house.
Why did they
put up a
Pikit fence?!
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Know that fox
in Steve's
Town?
He'll Pikku
pockets if you
aren't careful
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Dash through
Dark World
bushes.
You'll see
Ganon is tryin
to Stal you!
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Eyegore!

You gore!
We all gore
those jerks
with arrows!
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I like my
whiskey neat.

Some prefer it
Octoroks!
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I consoled
Freezor over a
cup of coffee.
His problems
just seemed to
melt away!
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Magic droplets
of water don't
shut up.
They just
Kyameron!
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I bought hot
wings for
Sluggula.
They gave him
explosive
diarrhea!
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Hardhat Beetle
won't
Let It Be?
Tell it to Get
Back or give
it a Ticket to
Ride down
a hole!
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